So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
