nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There r osticjed everywhere
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
