i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
