The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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