Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
