Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
