I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
