I love black thongs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
