..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
