Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Someone signed my nipple.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
