Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
