I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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