Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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