We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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