and you said cock pushups were impossible
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
