Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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