Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
