Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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