i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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