Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
