i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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