I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
