Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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