I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
