i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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