I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
