stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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