He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
