dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Semen is not good for contacts.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
