We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
