I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
