I think I died a long time ago.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
