my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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