i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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