after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
COCAINE IS GR8
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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