Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
