plz talk dirty to me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize