I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
