I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
