I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
