your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize