we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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