I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
