On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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