I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
