Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
