We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize