omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
