tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
