he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
