Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My cat gives me a boner
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
