Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
