The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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