My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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