she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
