I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
