Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
