i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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