Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We are two peas in an std pod
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
