either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
