Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
