I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
