ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
