ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
