I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
